Lying about films

This is even more ridiculous than lying about books (see earlier posts). Saying you've read War and Peace is at least slightly impressive in a masochistic way. You've spent weeks, months even, reading a really dull book: you definitely haven't got ADHD. You have the attention span of a generation of readers for whom the only alternative was roasting chestnuts, singing Gilbert and Sullivan operettas or, if you were a child, playing with one of those stick and hoop combos old-fashioned children used to play with . But lying about liking a film?! On one hand, I'm inclined not too go on too much about how much I like the film Father of the Bride. I mean, it's a bit embarrassing - but it does embody the increasingly underestimated virtue of actually being true. At the same time I hate even more going on about 'impressive' films I like - so I won't. None of them is as good as Father of the Bride anyway... In truth, most of us like some films that are shit (and not just goofball, OK-to-like-it shit, but proper embarrassing, sentimental rubbish!) and some that coincide happily with a broader consensus of what's 'worthwhile'. It is therefore very suspicious that so many people seem only to like critically acclaimed films. They are the same ones who say they like Shakespeare, but are seldom, if ever, found at RSC performances. And never seen, 'Hamlet in Hand', so to speak. Spooky! Another strange fact: everyone I know has seen Titanic yet few admit to liking it at all. Or they only liked the TUFF bits - like the sinking of the boat! These are the people I really feel for. They were obviously expecting it, based on trailers, word of mouth and reviews, to be like Mullholland Drive. They must have been terribly disappointed to find it wasn't. 

1. Mulholland Drive

I saw this with a bunch of people who were as bored, not to mention confused, by this, as I was. When the film ended, they all said they liked it, and I (poor fool!) said I didn't understand it! None of them could explain it strangely. They just knew that it was difficult, by someone named after cheap lager, and... they liked it goddamit. Because it's by Stella Artois. They particularly liked the bit where the woman was miming into a microphone on stage. That was my favourite bit too, which doesn't say much as it's one of the most cliched jokes/illusions of all time (the piano that plays itself, Top of the Pops, etc etc).

2. Battleship Potemkin

Oh pull the other one! Even the poster for it (see above) makes me feel as bored as a kid in a church. 

3. Citizen Kane

Ditto. This is respected today for its ingenuity at the time of its production. But actually, life has moved on a bit since. Final Destination III is far better in every possible way.

4. Easy Riders

Folksy rot. Altough I do like that thing he does with his arm...

5. The Grandmother

David Lynch! Difficult! Brilliant! 

I would like to add the Big Lebowski, which, with its wilfully surreal, 'American indie' take, I absolutely hate, but I suspect people genuinely do like it. My equivalent is probably Society, which I can only describe as a 'conspiracy melt' flick. It's probably pretty dreadful in truth and I wouldn't expect anyone to like it - or even to bother pretending they did.